Bust My Size

Join me on my journey to lose over 170 lbs. and become a healthier person.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Mean spirited or just honest?

Today I had to drop off some things at my daughter's school and everything was fine. When my daughter came home, however, she said one of the boys in her class said, "Whoa! You're mom is F-A-T fat!" When she told me this I was completely floored. I tried to maintain some composure and I told her that he had bad manners and an ugly mouth (yeah, I could've tried a little harder). I asked her what she said and she shrugged her shoulders. I then asked how it made her feel and she said she was sad and almost cried.

Okay. First off I know this kid is like 5 or 6 years old, and at that age they can be brutally honest. But to spell out the word "fat"? It sounds like he repeated a comment he heard elsewhere. Now the "Psycho Stalker Mom" in me wants to go back and review the school awards ceremony video tapes, find this kid's last name, Google up a phone number and call his parents. But then the "Almost Sane Mom" says to just let it slide...kids will be kids.

I'm going to talk with her more in the morning and ask if anything else was said. When she told me, DH was sitting right there, and with tears welling up in my eyes I felt it wasn't the right time to handle the situation.

My question to all of the other overweight moms... Would you talk to the parents? The teacher? Just let it slide? I'm afraid that if I raise a big enough stink then this might haunt my daughter for years. With her being so sensitive already, she's an easy target for bullies and making a big deal out of this could give them more ammo.

Now more than ever, I have to lose this weight. :-(

Week 66

Current weight - 228.0 lbs.
This week's gain - 0.8 lbs.
Total loss - 89.6 lbs.

OMG I've been so busy and I've only slept 4 hours per night the past 2 nights. My oldest daughter's class is making time capsules for each of the students to keep and open when they graduate high school (12 years from now) and I've been making some videos and a slide show for it. The due date was today and I just barely finished it this morning!

The bad thing about all of this? I was tired and finally gave in to DH's requests for McDonald's and had a few double cheeseburgers over the past couple of days. This was after seeing Fast Food Nation, too. What was I thinking???

Another 16 days of school, scouts, ballet, and soccer and I can finally be free from all of that stress. After that I'll give myself a couple of days to decompress and then on Wednesday, June 20th I'll get back into full swing. I'm making this promise to both you guys and myself. In my next post I'll share with you why I must refocus for the sake of my kids.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Week 65

Current weight - 227.2 lbs.
This week's loss - 2.4 lbs.
Total loss - 90.4 lbs.

Still holding at 2500 calories per day. Not sure where the loss came from this week, but I'll take it! :-) My next weigh-in is 2 days from now, but I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to update the blog. This is an extremely busy week for me.

I can't wait for things to calm down around here. I'm almost looking forward to a nice new exercise schedule for the summer!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Week 64

Current weight - 229.6 lbs.
This week's loss - 0.6 lbs.
Total loss - 88.0 lbs.

Still hanging in there at 2500 calories per day (give or take). Today was a tough one. I had to take my oldest daughter to a Girl Scout function and there were tons of temptations. Fast food, cotton candy, Girl Scout cookies, etc. I had some, but I counted everything.

As if there wasn't enough stress in my life, I'm now faced with another dilemma. My youngest daughter will turn 5 in the middle of October and the birthday cut-off for kindergarten is September 30th. Kids born Oct. - Dec. can take a test and if they score 95% or better, they can get into kindergarten early. My daughter's score? 93%! Argh!!!

I got a letter saying that she qualifies for a pre-K program run by the city, but I'm not sure I want her to go there. It's in a pretty rough neighborhood. So the bottom line is... Do I push to have her enrolled in kindergarten early? Do I send her to the public pre-K? Homeschool? I really wish she had scored a lot lower...then my decision would be an easy one. Being so close to the cut-off, however, is just killing me. I don't want to push her, yet I don't want to hold her back. No matter which option I choose she'll probably be pissed about it when she's older. :-/

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Week 63

Current weight - 230.2 lbs.
This week's loss - 2.4 lbs. (from my peak on Monday)
Total loss - 87.4 lbs.

Things are still pretty rough around here. I found myself so far off track that it seams nearly impossible to recover. :-(

Here's the new plan... Between now and the end of the school year (June 14th) I'm going to allow myself 2500 calories per day. I doubt I'll lose any weight at this level, but at least I won't gain. I'm still writing down everything I eat, too. Things are going to be hectic around here between now and then so that's why I chose that date.

So far so good for this week. Instead of having a snack last night I just went to bed. With the way things have been lately, that was real progress for me! :-) I'll be back after my next weigh-in on Wednesday.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Pulling myself back together

So this morning I got on the scales and I weighed 232.6!!! Ouch!!! I'm up 6.0 lbs. from last Wednesday. Yes, some is water weight, but some of it is probably true weight gain. This past weekend I had pizza and almost two half-gallons of ice cream. I estimated that I had over 4,000 calories on Saturday alone.

Here is where I am now... Have you ever had your car run out of gas? You start it, it will run for a minute and then crap out? You start it again and it just spits, sputters, then dies again? No matter what you do you just can't get it to stay running? That's me on my diet right now. I start out great in the morning and cruise all through the day. Dinner is fine, too. Somewhere between dinner and bedtime I go crazy and eat everything in sight. By the end of the day I've had 3,000 calories. Next day I wake up and repeat the day before. False starts every day. Ugh!!! What I can say is that today, for the first time since getting sick a few weeks ago, I walked on the treadmill.

So when I weigh in on Wednesday, I'm going to be comparing those numbers to the numbers on the scale today. This way I can measure my efforts over the past 2 days versus my total meltdown over the weekend. Does that make any sense? LOL As of today I'm recommitting myself to this whole thing.

Thank you to all of my readers and especially to those who leave comments. Without you I'd have probably abandoned this diet months ago. Y'all keep me honest! :-)

Friday, May 04, 2007

Week 62

Okay guys, this whole diet thing is falling apart. I just can't stay on top of it right now. If I could put my finger on exactly why, that would be great and I could address the problem. I guess there's just so much going on and I'm being pulled in a thousand directions. I'm not giving up and I'm definitely not leaving. I just need a couple days (maybe a week) to regroup.

Fortunately, my husband will only be going to school for 2 days instead of 4 from now on, so I'll have more help with the kids. :-) That will help my psyche tremendously!